Transient times

2 weeks ago in a family gathering, my uncle and I had a conversation. He inquired about the procedures after I received the notice to become Singapore citizen.

That made me recall then... 2 years ago when I decided to apply for that change of citizenship. The decision was fairly easy one, that I didn't hover on. I had studied, stayed, lived, and worked in Singapore for more than 7 years then - my PR was due for renewal and I was very firm in my mind that I wanted to stay in Singapore for good.



For if I rewind back, then when I first came. I did come over here because of the riot and violence in Indonesia during Reformasi. The uncertainty of the field then, the safety, and for the sake of better education and future, I came here. I remembered the ride to Hotel Golden. Being transfixed by a very impressive presentation to my youthful mind then, the promise of scholarship, no "plonco", and a modern huge campus where best minds gather to study. Then I recalled limitations, the cost, and the burden to family that I didn't want. I remember my dad drove me there. I remembered receiving that special flyer in class. Meeting the middleman who took care of the applications. My dad asked me how I felt after seeing the presentation. I remembered being surprised on his insistence that I had to go. Had to try. I thank my family for the love then and even now, and everytime when I remembered.

I remembered the blur of Ebtanas. I cant remember the hustle about graduating. But I definitely remembered the ferry to Batam, lugging two old suitcases that contained everything that I needed to start over a new University life. Living in 4ko's place. And the joy of going over the campus. Taking that steep steps over from Hall 2 to the University Hall. The breeze of entering jungle campus of NTU for first time. Walking over to take 199. Meeting the student's assistant over at office. Joining orientation. Logging in to my room. Watched over the scary and quiet empty dorm. The ride back. The first lecture. The buying of textbooks. The queue in the campus bookstore. My first handphone. My first roommate. Meeting my neighbour. Chatting in computer rooms. Chicken rice in canteen. Economic rice. The welcome teas. The library. The computer machines. The choosing of the tutorial groups and timing. The napping in library. The spam and forwarding mails. My surprise birthday party.

Those were ages ago. And those memory is what defines me. Define my time in Singapore. As real as vivid as memorable as my childhood and root in Indonesia. As divided but yet as liberating that defines who I am. I am one yet the other.

When I applied, it was early in the year. First week of January I recalled. Later, I jokingly would tell everyone that the reason why I got notice in 2 months instead of normal 3-9 months waiting period because I was early in the year. Haven't met the quota number yet, I smiled. But I was never surer about everything else in my decision. Even compared to decision when I had to choose Computer Engineering in NTU versus Pharmacy in NUS.

When I received the letter, I delayed the formality of completing the process, until when the appointment time is almost up. More of my procrastinator nature rather than doubt.

But the true nature, the real spirit of having accepted being a citizenship of Singapore, hit me like a flash. Singapore doesn't recognize dual citizenship. In order to accept the citizenship offer, I must produce the proof of oath having renounced allegiance to my home country, Indonesia. So shuttling back and forth, with Academy of Law, Notary Public office, back, Embassy, and back again after processing. My taxi journey after I renounced citizenship, essentially stateless for the 25-mins ride between Chatsworth and Lavender was the longest journey I had. I changed. My status changed. That was a hard state to be, the limbo, yet that's when the final hammer of the true consequence of my decision to change Citizenship hit me. Hard.

I am grateful for that.

When I swore allegiance to Singapore, I was ready.

I sense a closure when I was done. I guess sometimes being a Permanent Resident in Singapore, and a Citizen of Indonesia provided a way to escape. Escape to which is associated better in a particular situation. Yet, a closure of being the person in the country where you belong is important. And the significance grows for person like me, who values loyalty and familiarity. I like Adventure. Cosmopolitan. Diversity. Freedom. Growth. International. No other country exemplifies these values more than Singapore. Including its other side of the coin. Meritocratic. Competitive. Unforgiving. Kiasu. Ambitious. Materialistic.