February reflections

It was Valentine's Day yesterday. I had a bout of melancholy deep at night. Remembering what I did last year. This year, the day started with pretty bad mood. I wonder if this has anything to do with the Valentine's Day. I started with 730am call after 6 hours of sleep. Physically tired from the streak of exercise due to February Heart month (those compelling Apple Watch badges!!!).

Why can't I forget? Why do I want to forget...? It is still bringing tears to my eyes and wrenching my heart. More because I miss the feeling and company. But do I love the person or do I love the persona my mind and heart has created for the person.

What should I do? How do I get rid of this pain? Should I get rid of this pain?

It's over

You can judge someone's worth by the way they treat other people who is of no use to them.

I am appointed acting leader to stand in the stead of my manager who was leaving the organization with very short notice. I had the greatest regard and affection to him, and I stepped up to lead the team mainly because of that. And mainly because I want to be taking care of the team.

He treated me well as his subordinate although he has his own agenda, and it took me a while. A long while, to really get over and accept the fact of his departure. This morning I woke up with clarity and with reason of why I can't forgive him yet, or accept the fact that I am blue and sad due to this reason. In the week of transitioning him out of the organization.

1. He insisted "I am going" when I was exploring whether he could delay his departure for a week as the week when he was out was the week I am to undergo my medical operations - and I was thinking about the team and transition.
2. He pushed back to my ask of one help to take care of my package which is the cause of my biggest dissatisfaction and even said I pushed him to the corner.
3. He went behind my back and offered no apology other than the lame excuse that he thought  he copied me in the email. I had to wake up at 4am and handled the crisis when I received the escalation from the President of Asia.
4. During the time when I went into business review call that I got pulled into, he went and met with the global head of customer success team without informing me.
5. When I tried to buy him farewell lunch, he said okay but then delayed that because he needed to run his own errand.

Despite of all of that, I worked with the team to prepare his farewell, said positive things in front and behind him, because I am who I am. I am not going to treat people and do disservice to my own integrity. But sometimes I wonder if I am being foolish or naive for still being loyal and steadfast. I guess I am because I want to take care of myself first and not let other people treat me less than who I am. When I ended our transition meeting early, and dismissed it at 2pm I tried to regain my dignity back. Felt a little guilt, but I needed to stand up for myself.

Relationship Advice

• Find a little perspective: Focus on why you fell in love with your partner and what you want your life to become like together. Even better, tell your partner this without any expectations of them doing the same.
• Start to repair the damage: Apologize for your part in any misunderstanding. Don't defend why you did or didn't do this or that. Offer a simple, heartfelt apology without expecting one from them. This seriously can work wonders.
• Be brave enough to go first: Be willing to apologize to your partner first instead of waiting for them to make the first move.
• Stop waging war: Stop doing anything that's causing harm to your partner or injures your feeling of connection. This might simply mean showing a little more patience, compassion and kindness.

The happiness and success of any relationship is reflected in the little things you do (and fail to do) for each other. Don't let your relationship fall apart like so many couples do. Today, make a fresh start. Choose to do something that moves you out of the past and imagines a brighter future together.

Taken from article here Credit.

3 Good things

3 good things that happen today:

• Went out and caught up with Xu Jin after 2 months.
• Discussed and got new perspective about relationships.
• Bonded with mom during walk home and get to hear deeply about her feelings and relationship with her sister.

Healthy Relationship

I like what this article says. Healthy relationship requires space, but it must face the same direction and strengthened by communication.

Disneysea December 2017 Day 1 of Trip

"A healthy relationship means separate containers (life space), facing in the same direction (common outlook on life), and faning the fire in between (earning trust)."