I came back from holiday with family, recharged and happy. For the first time in my life, I feel blissful, at peace, and in the moment. Felt like the daily meditation helps me regain my sense of balance and contentment. I do not have extra things really, no new relationship, no happy encounter, just spend 2 weeks travelling with family and "in the moment".
I am not purposeful. I do not know where I am going, or if I am going somewhere. I suppose the small secret in life is to know there is no journey with a starting end and the ending point. Maybe life is a jumble of walks that go around and return to the original path. I don't know.
But I do know that I want to create. I want to give birth to new ideas, new facts, new being, something. It gives life meaning when we give.
When we travelled, we received the news about the passing of my cousin, Jensen. On the day of my birthday morning. I felt sad, sad for a life seems so short, that everything can happen and end in an instant. Of him, of his family, and of his parents. But also a sense of peace: he was in pain during the course of cancer, and in a way there is relief in the end.
It rolls a seed of thought, that human can strive, can fight, can will strongly. At the end of the day, there is fate and there is life. there is so many things outside of humane control.
I got a call yesterday, the first day of coming back to office. That is after another call, when I heard agitated sound and voices and feel I could not care more than it deserves. But that call I took it calmly and took it slowly. That call makes me realize a gratefulness of other people who doesn't seem to want some recognition, or doesn't demand it. Or maybe it is too early to think well and good and raise expectation again, I want to be kind and I want to think there is more kindness in this world.
