Why People are Selfish

I am sitting here, working overnight on what I believe to be my last Fiscal Year closing as my role. I am committed and dedicated, and feeling increasingly naïve.

I felt so foolish for wanting to dedicate my effort and thought I will be happy to "support" my colleagues in ramping them up to be doing well in the role. I am foolishly thought that I would be rewarded with recognition, gratitude, and thankfulness.

It turned out after all the hardwork, my personal time, efforts, thoughts, and energy put into building the people, what I got is nothing but a generic, thank you everyone in the team (including those that barely contributed to your onboarding!) by the person whom I onboarded the most, and plus I spent all my thoughts planning about her 6-months maternity leave. I'm feeling disappointed and a bit bitter. I suppose I was naïve, I thought it would turn out not as what I expected. I don't know what I expect, but certainly I am vindicated and again proven that people are selfish. The level of immaturity and flattery that go around certainly continue to astound me. When shall you ever learn, dear? I can't help but to hope.

I suppose I am insecure myself but at least I am mature enough to feel and know that the world doesn't resolve just around me.

I just felt I'm discriminated against. Just because I'm the youngest in the team, and I am few years younger than my teammate, I truly feel that she treat me differently ever since she discovered that I am years younger than her even though I have more seniority. Some people are just shallow and self-serving.

Why am I so sad. Don't I know this already. It still hurts. Very much like a betrayal.

I am glad I have my summer plan sorted out.